The Possibilities of the Impossible

Transforming What you Believe

What you believe is what is. Your beliefs are powerful… your beliefs drive your actions, and your actions are driven by your thoughts (as in what you believe). Put simply, if you believe something is impossible… that belief erodes your confidence and in turn the impossible beliefs become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Beliefsare convincing thoughts, which have been stored in your subconscious mind whether they are true or not… you will believe them as long as you hold onto them in your mind. Beliefs get stronger if there is more evidence to support them and grow weaker if something contradicts them. Example, if your parents told you how unattractive, unintelligent, overweight, revolting, worthless, and so on over and over… the chances of you believing what your parents told you is highly likely and thus you may end up feeling inferior all of your life. When it’s your parents telling you that you can’t do something, you are not something, or you are lacking in something… you will believe what they are saying is TRUE! If someone tells you that you are screwed up and that person is someone you trust, the chances of you never trying to be anything more is highly likely. The first step in believing that something is possible is to challenge your thoughts and false beliefs, fearlessly.

Remember, fearlessness is a state of mind… not a trait that you inherit!

In Order to understand the beliefs and preconceive notions you have about yourself you must first understand how you came to some of the conclusions you have about yourself so you can understand what (issues you are facing) in order to deal with them…

Turning the Unbelievable to Believable

Understanding How your Mind Becomes Clouded

And How you Come to Believe what YOU Believe

Bonding and the development of your inner critic how and why: when we are born, there is a strong needs to bond. Two things can happen either positive or negative.

These outcomes have a great impact upon how you develop and thus if you are successful or unsuccessful in life:

  • If the mother consistently loves, the baby will bond with their mother (positive outcome).

  • If the mother is not ideal (meaning if she is not both loving and comforting the infant) then the baby bonds with what ever is available (negative outcome). The baby will pretend that it is everything it needs.

The side affects of the negative outcome of baby’s inability to bond with mom (because mom was not there):

  • The baby now has a psychological burden of “paying for their idealized versions of others with their own lack of value”. In laymen’s terms… the fantasized bond with mother has set the child up for low-self esteem. This child will now spend all its time figuring out a way to get others to love them. The assumption is the caregivers are normal people (figures I should believe in) but they do not love me yet, so I will try and figure out how to make them loveme… and this carries on into their entire life.

Childhood: where do I belong, do I belong, how can I belong (the negative side affects of having NO bond with Your MOTHER):

  • Desperate to be love and accepted the child now begins to create a complex rule system.

  • They use the behaviors, abuse, words, criticism, body language/tone, raised eyebrows, clenching teeth, and hateful expression etc. of their caregivers.

  • The rules provide both logic and consistency that the child needs to feel safe, in their very overwhelming and powerless world.

    • This is how the inner critic is born. Example, punishment for having a messy room = unlovable and disapproval = hurt & disconnection (from others). The inner critic will enforce the rules so the above painful situations do not occur. The child seeks desperately for the approval and love and makes that emotional connection to a clean room = approval & love and will continue to (enforcing the rules) in order to be loved.

Growing up – Healthy or Unhealthy Household (The Inner Critic):

  • Growing up in a healthy household means the infant/child has received gentle positive messages, which provided emotional comfort for their feelings. As a grown up, this individual has an inner voice that guides them.

  • Conversely, an unhealthy household has provided a distorted way of thinking for the individual. The inner critic for this person is both harsh and judgmental (and may be out to blame). Distortion of feelings, needs, and your view of the situation are now based on the rule system that was created in early childhood.

    • The negative affects of this: no longer is the critic attempting to be loved, the critic is just desperately trying to avoid pain.

    • Examples of that inner critic in adulthood:

      • You’re fat, you’re ugly, you’re stupid, you’re boring, you’re not good enough and the inner critical messaging goes on and on.

      • You find yourself not trying! Example, why should I send my resume or fill this job application out? I am not good enough; I am never going to get this job why should I EVEN TRY? You have become your own worst enemy.

Adulthood – shielding yourself from the pain of your own inadequacies and the inner critical voice: Anesthesia (creating distractions to numb the pain):

There are many forms of distractions individuals choose to avoid the pain within. These distractions come in many forms such as, eating disorders, addictions, gambling, shopping, work; anything that we create outside ourselves can be a distraction. The problem with these distractions?

  • They can affect EVERYTHING in our life. Our relationships, our work, and will keep us from becoming our authentic selves.

  • What we learn from our childhoods is that by having our own thoughts, feelings, and boundaries means being alone/in pain (either emotionally or physically). We have no ability to feel safe on our own which means we have no concept of what being vulnerable means (it may even mean to some of us being vulnerable means being weak) so we shut the world out!

Inside my Mind…

How to Free YOUR Mind

In order to prevent false beliefs from controlling your life, you must consciously challenge the false beliefs that exist within you. Beliefs are so important that shifting them from negative to positive beliefs about yourself can completely transform your life! You will either create a self-fulfilling prophecy to support any and all false beliefs of yourself… or you will fearlessly challenge those false beliefs by asking yourself questions like is this really true, am I really unattractive?You will question what your parents told you about being unintelligent… The issue with being told you were not worthy as a child… is that it becomes ingrained into your subconscious so much so that everything you do and everything you see supports the false beliefs you have about yourself. So if the belief is that you are not intelligent… that is your truth (your belief) and the chances of you ever putting any effort to succeed in life are highly unlikely and if you do… life will be a constant struggle if you do not get the help you need to correct the negative thoughts you have about yourself. The first step in turning the impossible to possible is by believing that something is possible… and to do that you must challenge your thoughts and take steps towards fearlessly reaching your goals. The more you ask yourself questions about your false beliefs, the more you will be challenging the false beliefs… and the more you continue to challenge those false beliefs you have the more those false beliefs will weaken.

Searching for Me

If something deep within you is screaming, “I need help”, “I deserve love”, “I want to live”, “and I want to feel what it is like to look in the mirror and say… YES, I DO LOVE ME!

Then we are here to help you take that journey! Welcome to your first step in transformation and freeing your mind! By making a decision to seek assistance through therapy, your inner voice is trying to surface (it is telling you, you are worth it) and all things are possible!