Dear Diary I Think my Wife is Cheating on me, Carlsbad Therapy

The Truth about Deception and Signs of an Affair

Why would my Wife Cheat? Help for Marriages in Crisis


“Be Strong… Because things will get better. It may be stormy now, but it never rains forever.”


Dear Diary, I think my wife is cheating on me…

Throughout our lifetime, we are lucky if we find that one true love. The type of love that breaks down your walls and opens your heart so profoundly it forever changes you… You think to yourself, I have finally found the women of my dreams and I will stop at nothing to hold on.

You decide to get married and life seems perfect. You think to yourself, everything is great and all is going well… but lately something seems different. Recently your wife’s behavior seems off and your instincts are telling you something is not right.


“For you and your spouse to have any chance, honesty is important.”


The Truth about Deception and Signs of an Affair

Deception is either concealment or fabrication of the truth. Most relationships embody a sense of trust, mutual admiration, respect, physical sharing, caring and emotional connection. However, if you have reason to think your wife is lying or stretching the truth a bit those elements of a healthy relationship can go away quickly. Betrayal in any relationship is one of the worst things that can happen. Before you assume it is important to know some of the common signs associated with an extramarital affair.

Signs of an Affair:

•   Changes in her Social Patterns: if your wife has begun to distance herself from you, your family or friends it might be a sign of guilt or she may be worried that someone might pick up on how different she is.

•   Unexplained Behavior: secretive or unusual behavior, coldness, distance or isolation and emotional distance can point to her not feeling connected to you.

•   Lack of Physical Intimacy: this does not always mean that your wife is cheating on you. Many things can be going on with your wife that makes her not want to be physically intimate like low self-esteem, stress at work, hormones, emotional disconnection, family responsibilities, depression and so on.

Knowing what is going on with your wife is the KEY to understanding…


“Healing requires a heartfelt, honest discussion of the hurt in the relationship and the pain infidelity inflicts, whether one stays or goes.”


Why would my Wife Cheat?

Lack of quality of time, inability to resolve conflicts and lack of attention are some of the common reasons a woman cheats on her husband. The emotional needs of women are quite different then men. Emotionally speaking if your wife has low-self esteem, feels lonely or neglected, feels your relationship lacks passion, feels there is a lack of physical interaction or a lack of intimacy, has unrealistic expectations and so on your relationship needs some attention.

Some situations are more complex then others… but there is one profound simple truth about why a woman might cheat and it all comes down to being connected in a way that makes her feel appreciated, supported, and listened to.


“We simply can’t abandon ship every time we encounter a storm in our marriage. Real love is about weathering the storms of life together.”

~Seth Adam Smith


Help for Marriages in Crisis

A marriage in crisis can feel like a downward spiral. When a marriage is in the crisis stage it usually occurs because of an unusual amount of stress or unresolved conflicts that cause the level of anxiety in each of you to become so intense you feel you can no longer manage.

If you want help with your marriage the first step you must take is to see beyond the negativity and not allow it to over-shadow the good in your relationship. The more you allow negativity into your marriage the greater the damage it will cause.

Help is available to any married couple that wants it, but you have to be willing to do the work to get you from being in crisis to a state of being stable… and to do this you may want to consider couples therapy. Therapy can help move your relationship into a more positive direction and help you deal with the issues each of you face individually and as a couple