Searching For Me

Your Greatest Love of All… Developing a Relationship with Yourself

Do you remember when you were a kid…Did you have big dreamsof becoming an astronaut, a race car driver, a pilot, a doctor, a nurse, a writer, an artist, and so on… At some point in your life, did your dreams fade away? Did you become who YOU really wanted to become or, did you develop some sort of fear, which never allowed you to be ALL IN? Or put another way; did something happen to you along the way that impeded you from really believing in yourself? Did someone at some point tell you that you were not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, and so on. We each have a past, some good and some bad. For the individuals who suffered a difficult past, it is easy to find yourself questioning everything about who you are, and what you should be. The truth is, definingwho you are can be rather difficult when you were taught that something was wrong with you. Not only does it affect who you are and your ability to become whom ever you want to be… it also affects every relationship you have. Because, when the relationship with yourself is broken… there is no way to keep your relationships with others from breaking. You may not value yourself enough and thus continually sabotage the good relationships you are in, or you may be with someone who treats you badly because you believe you are not worthy of anything else. The most important relationship you can ever have is with yourself… having a good relationship with yourself is the foundation with which you will build all others. So, if it is not good then your foundation will eventually break.

“We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” 

~Lori Deschene

 Developing a Relationship with Yourself

Having a relationship with yourself is the most meaningful one you will ever have. When you can maintain a healthy relationship with yourself, you have the means to build healthy relationships with others. The truth is, it can be extraordinarily difficult to create happy healthy relationships with others when you are not wholeheartedly happy with yourself. When you have a good relationship with yourself, it improves your relationships with others. When you know who you are and have developed a healthy relationship with yourself, you have important insights into your life which help you determine what you really want out of life. Whether that is your career path, or doing something you have always wanted to do such as embracing life and all that it has to offer… knowing yourself and loving yourself gives you the power of endless possibilities and happiness. In order to develop a healthy relationship with yourself, you have to understand the importance of taking care of yourself, how to love yourself, and how to be kind to yourself, always. Remember, all relationships begin with one’s own relationship to the self.

“I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.”

~Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter

 Deepening the Relationship with Self

Be self-aware, be open to learning more about yourself, by acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, understand how your actions affect others, and always challenge yourself to grow. Take care of yourself, love yourself unconditionally, let go of your past, let go of blame, become empowered, and make sure you are tending to your physical health through physical exercise, good nutrition, and rest. Treat yourself with respect, by letting go of negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones, acknowledge that we are all imperfect including you, and remember that when you make a mistake you are kind to yourself and have compassion for yourself. When unhealthy perceptions of yourself surface, challenge those thoughts and consider a new way to look at them. Remember, that self-respect is the basis for everything elseself-love, self-care, and self-nurture. Always be honest with yourself, take responsibility for your actions, prioritize your time to ensure you aren’t running yourself ragged, set boundaries to ensure you are not compromising things that make you happy and keep you healthy, and be yourself always because who you are is enough!

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Becoming the Best You

Being you is not something that will just come easily. You must make a conscience effort to terminate your self-defeating behaviors and patters, by welcoming unconditional love, faith, and positivity into your life. Only then… can you truly transform. By letting go of your past, you can learn what unconditional love and compassion really is. When you let go of what you no longer need (the past) and begin to take responsibility for your own life, situations, actions, and have decided to make new decisions… you give yourself the chance to live your life fully and create endless possibilities. When your open to everything, anything is possible, and when anything is possible… you can grow into ANY version of YOU that YOU want to be! Remember individualsunconsciously create what is familiar until they finally decide to choose something different, put another way, in earlier life experiences we may have adopted dysfunctional patterns of thinking, being, or relating which holds us back from the life we really want. If you cannot identify these self-limiting habits you have… then you cannot replace the bad habits with positive ones.

Remember this, in order to become who you really are

Alison Strate