Types of Relationships, Carlsbad Therapy

Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

Relationships are a vital part of healthy living. Throughout your lifetime, there will be people who come into your life and for what ever reason end up becoming a part of your life. Relationships, from associates to romances… some of your relationships have the potential to enrich your life and add a level of enjoyment that is so impactful they naturally become someone you trust, love and respect.

While there are many wonderful relationships you will experience throughout life… there will also be relationships that can leave you feeling devastated or deserted. The question is, how do you decipher between what a healthy relationship is and how do you become more attuned with the characteristics that exists in an unhealthy relationship? How do you know what makes a relationship healthy and what makes one unhealthy?

With these questions in mind, we offer you S.A.G.E. advice on what makes a relationship healthy and what makes a relationshipunhealthy…

What Makes a Relationship Healthy?

A Connection Between two People Based on the Following:

When two people develop a connection based on trust, honesty, mutual respect, support, equality/fairness, have separate identities, good communicationand a sense of fondness for one another they have the characteristics of a healthy relationship. While each of the qualities take time to develop, in a healthyrelationship each person understands that in order to maintain a healthy relationship it will take work and active participation from each individual.

What Makes a Relationship Unhealthy?

A Disconnection Between two People Occurs when:

When two people develop a false sense of being connected based on pressure, stress, neglect, expectations, violence, control, lack of respect, fear, obligation, manipulation and or do not allow or do not know how to have a sense of separateness/individuality… chances are the relationship is very unhealthy. If any of these characteristics develop in any of your relationships, it is time for you to look at what you are going to do before that relationship has a negative impact on your life.

At some point, every relationship has some type of dysfunction. Many circumstances and events at various points in our lives cause us to become disconnected and thus we disconnect from others… It is how you weather the distresses in your life that will ultimately create more pain or allow for more love.

Be true to your word, do not take anything personally, do not make assumptions and always do your best….


“We don’t meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path FOR A REASON.”


Types of Relationships:

Each of us has an idea in our minds about what a relationship is and what a good or correct one is supposed to be. At times, you may compare your relationship(s) with the idea of what a relationship should be like and conclude that yours are somehow defective by comparison. The implication that you innately compare and formulate a criterion for a healthy relationship may reveal something about who you are in your relationships.

There are many types of relationships and a given type might fit a given person at different stages in their life. Driven by your childhood and personal history, you chose your relationships to help meet your present needs, fulfill your current expectations which can be good or bad depending on what you have been through and what is simply needed at some point in your life.

There is no right or wrong when it comes to the types of relationships you have been in… what is important is to understand that we each need certain things at different points in our lives… why we do the things we do or allow others to do things to us… is specific to each person’s past or present situation. Put simply, being capable of having a healthy relationship is relative to your circumstances.

Each type of relationship is “how it is” for each specific person at a point in time in his or her life. Right or wrong, there are different types of relationshipsindividuals end up in… and the reason they do… was or currently is… to fill real needs.

Types of Relationships:

Types of Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships:

  • Codependent Survival: Without you, I am nothing. Each person cannot function without the other.

  • Validation: Based on insecurity, a person seeks another’s validation of his or her physical attractiveness, intellect, social status, sexuality, wealth or some other attribute to make them feel good about who they are.

  • Scripted: Living out the role of what a good or perfect relationship should be like. Each person plays their part and each person does what they think they should do instead of being who they really are.

  • Dominating: When someone sets all the rules for the relationship and the other person follows them… the relationship is based on control not love, trust or mutual respect.

  • Avoidance Rebound: We you protect yourself from getting close to people. Each person protects their heart at all costs. There is no self-awareness and no attempt to go deep into feelings or emotions. The relationship merely exists cover up pain. A recent break-up can cause certain people to be in this type of relationship or it can go even deeper then that. If someone has experienced the loss of a parent, family member, partner or close friend by abandonmentor death… fear of abandonment, fear of loss, fear of not being good enough and so on will drive them to keep their distance from everyone and make them chose individuals that allow them to avoid their feelings.

  • Acceptance: A relationship based on trust, respect, and support for one another. There is a good sense of self and realistic expectations that exists within the relationship. Each person has the ability to be who they truly are and together they grow as a couple and as individuals.

  • Individuation: We as individuals and as a couple do not try to be perfect; we do not try to be something we are not. Each of us is unique and that is okay!